Removing Self-Hatred

The title of my devotional today is a bit harsh-----but I guess it's accurate. I've been in the process of receiving the truth of who I am in Christ--and my value in God's eyes. I've been believing the lies and this devotional describes somewhat of what I"ve been thinking. I'm renewing my mind with the Truth. Taking thoughts captive. And as I do---the enemy has amped up His attacks. I no longer "take a break" from being on guard. I am getting stronger, because the Lord is my strength!---LL


New Life Daily Devotion - Apr. 16, 2010

Removing Self-HatredPsalm 139:13-18
We were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character.
Many of us have spent our lives trying to be someone we're not. Our addictive/compulsive behaviors may revolve around this desperate attempt to escape from ourselves. Maybe we have difficulty accepting our personality, our appearance, our handicaps, even our talents. Perhaps we spend our lives trying to be what someone else wants us to be because we feel that who we are is not enough. We may do all we can to distance ourselves from our inner being because we are so deeply ashamed of who we are.
Self-hatred is a defect of character that needs to be removed. It breeds the sin of covetousness, that is, longing to be in someone else's situation or have what they have. The psalmist wrote, "Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it" (Psalm 139:14). Saying we are God's "workmanship" means that we're unique and beautiful masterpieces, works of poetry. Beauty and value are designed into our very fiber, by virtue of our Creator.
One important step in our recovery is to allow God to remove self-hatred, helping us to value ourselves for who we are. We have been miraculously created and we are treasured by God. And this has been true since the time in our mother's womb, long before we could do anything to earn it! As we begin to see how unique and special we are-embraced and accepted by God himself-our strides toward recovery should grow faster and longer.
We need to see ourselves as God does-a creature, wonderfully crafted, made by the very hands of God.

My Hope

"I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait. And in His word I do hope." Psalm 130:5

Waiting is hard. I like to be a person of action. But sometimes it's because I'm waiting for someone else to take action. I like this verse because it reminds me of the bigger picture---about how I need to base my thoughts and actions around THE LORD and be patient for His instructions, His timing, His guidance, His prompting. It helps me with the waiting, because I know that the Lord is for me, on my side, and is always right!!----LL

I found my answer

For so long I have struggled with turning to all kinds of things to get my sense of security: achievement, work, serving, parenting, and people.

For the last 5 years, the Lord has allowed all of these to be stripped from me so that I might turn to Him alone. It's been a long hard process because even though my HEAD knows to turn to Him, my flesh and my heart are slow to follow.

Over the weekend the light finally revealed to me what was holding me back---I was looking for someone/something that would make me feel special, important, beautiful, and that I mattered. My earthly father had failed me in big ways, so I turned to other means to find my value. The things I had been turning to helped for a moment, but I always needed more feedback to keep that fire burning. My heart finally gets it----- my earthly father failed me and still fails me, but my Heavenly Father was the answer. I desperately needed to know: Am I special? Am I important? Am I beautiful? Do I matter? Who will protect me?

And my heavenly Father is the only one who answers those questions completely. Yes I'm special----he created me uniquely and loves me unconditionally. Yes I'm important--He created me with a purpose to fulfill. I am beautiful because I represent Him--my Spirit, my countenance, my soul are a reflection of Him. I matter---because I am His. He is my shield.

I finally have my answers---because He is my answer.-----Lisala

Psalm 28:6-7 (New International Version)

⁶ Praise be to the LORD,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.

⁷ The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song.

My Thoughts

Last night was a horrible night. My thoughts were spinning out of control and I could feel myself physically getting sick. And this came out of nowhere. I had had a great day up until this moment.

The thing is.....I knew that what was in my head wasn't truth, but the voice of the enemy was loud and persistent. I got out my bible----but what I didn't do was pray against the enemy.

When I woke up this morning, this was my devotional. Thank you Lord for sending me this to calm my anxious heart.--LL

Girlfriends in God - Apr. 2, 2010

April 2, 2010

Taking Every Thought Captive

Part 2

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NIV).

Friend To Friend
Yesterday, we looked at 2 Corinthians 10:5 and the idea of taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. This battle is not fought with hand-to-hand combat, but with spirit-to-spirit warfare. Every spiritual battle is won or lost at the threshold of the mind; right as the calf comes bursting through the door. Let's look at four simple steps for taking every thought captive and lassoing those run-away thoughts.

STEP ONE

Realize the Enemy's True Identity

On Tuesday morning, September 11, 2001, after I got my son off to school and my husband off to work, I took a long walk through my neighborhood. The sky was crystal clear blue with a gentle breeze blowing through my hair. It was a gorgeous cool North Carolina fall day with just a hint of color on the leaves. There was nothing special on my schedule - just the ordinary. However, one hour later, because of a horrendous terrorist attack on our country in New York City and Washington, DC, by evil personified, the day turned into anything but ordinary. I watched in horror as the television played and replayed the airplanes crashing into the World Trade Center towers and the Pentagon.

Amazingly, we never saw it coming. It started out as just an ordinary day. As I thought about that, God reminded me: That's how the enemy always attacks. When you least expect it.

Let's think about another monumental day in our country's history. On December 31, 1999, the country and the world braced for the potentially disastrous effects of Y2K. Families and businesses alike prepared for months for what might occur as the clock ticked past 11:59 PM. We held our breaths, clasped our hands and braced ourselves. Yes, we were ready. What happened? Nothing. The new millennium came without incident. And yet, on an ordinary day, September 11, 2001, when we least expected it, an evil force attacked our country as never before in history.

Oh dear friends, do you see the correlation? There is an enemy who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). His name is Satan. He desires to destroy us just as sure as the hijackers drove those airplanes into, and toppled, the twin towers in New York City.

Satan has other names - the devil, the accuser of the brethren, a liar and the father of lies, the deceiver. A deceiver is someone who presents a lie in such a way, it sounds like the truth. He can make you believe something is not true when it is and make you believe something is true when it isn't. He speaks in your own voice. The thoughts feel like you, because they are the old you that he has memorized so well. He's not very creative, but he is very effective and he uses the same methods with us he's used since the beginning of time.

The first step to changing the way we think is to recognize the enemy's true identity. It's not your mother; it's not your father; it's not the person who abused you as a child. The real enemy is Satan himself and he uses your past hurts and failures as canon fodder. If you don't have sufficient ammo in your past, he concocts some of his own.

Join me in our next devotion as we look at Step Two to taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

Let's Pray
Dear Heavenly Father, I know that I cannot win a battle if I do not know who I am fighting. Help me to recognize the enemy's true identity. Spiritual warfare is very real. Today, I put on the armor of God and stand firm against the powers of the enemy. I am more than a conqueror through the power of Jesus Christ.

In His Name I pray and stand,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Can you think of a time when you blamed someone for a difficulty in your life when it might have been an attack of the enemy?

Go back and read John 10:10. What does the enemy desire to do?

What is he called in John 8:44?

Why do you think it is important to know who the real enemy is in order to win the battle?