More Fear

Fear, phobos (fob-oss): Strong's #5401: In classical Greek the word signified flight. Later it came to denote that which causes flight; hence, fear, terror, dread. In the NT phobos denotes both the fear of terror and the fear of reverence toward God. The English word "phobia" transliterates the Greek word.

I find it very strange that on the same day that I write about fears and my comfort zone, I am faced with a new fear that has me rattled.

There is a guy that I've been friends with for a very long time, and he has lots of problems. A couple of months ago, his behavior turned bizarre and he turned some of his frustration towards me. Mean text messages, angry voicemails, etc. Two weeks ago he shows up in my town. Shows up at a place I am out at with friends----some place I rarely go to, and it freaks me out that he'd be there when I had said nothing to anyone other than the friends I was with.

He started calling and texting every day. Nothing mean or weird, but it was all unwanted. I didn't return any of his calls or texts.

Then yesterday he texts that he's in town,---do I want to meet. I don't respond. Another text telling me where he's at. I don't respond. Another text saying he wants to see me tonight---so I finally tell him that I don't want to see him, but to have fun at the show he's going to. He replies "fine."

I go home scared. I don't know what mindset this guy is in. He is a drug user and drinker. His maturity level is age 17. I don't know how he'll behave, but based on his mean texts and voicemails earlier, I fear he's unstable.

So I call a friend to share this, but their phones go dead. I go to bed, grab my bible and start looking up verses on fear, on the Lord's protection, ----looking up anything that will calm my fears and anxieties. I spend time in prayer and fall asleep.

But my dreams are even worse. Every where I go in my dream, he's there taunting me. I dream that my car is ambushed. I dream I'm raped. I dream my house is torched. It's awful.

At 3 I start getting texts from him.

Finally I just get up at 5 exhausted.

This is supposed to be my devotional time.......where I turn my full attention to the Lord, be still, and know that He is God. My prayer this morning is for His help to cast all my cares upon Him.