Forgetting the past

This hit home with me. Not that my dad was militaristic, but I couldn't seem to please him in any way. I was torn down, not built up. I've had to learn to let the Lord meet that need, which He should anyway, but see what an impact fathers have on their daughters! (and I'm sure on their sons as well). Have a great Sunday---LL

Moments Together for Couples 7/8
by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

July 8

Entering the Attic (Part Two)

Did you know a husband and wife can help each other sort through the attic of the past? Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead. Philippians 3:13

Sue and Rich dated and fell in love during college. Soon they were engaged, and then married. Although Sue had shared many things openly as they dated, Rich had no idea how the lack of her father's unconditional approval had shaped her self-image and influenced her life.

When Sue was a young girl, her militaristic father inspected her bedroom every Friday evening. In preparation, she would balance one chair on another to dust the tops of the window and door facings, which her father routinely examined.

All other required work was scrutinized just as intently. Once she was grounded for two weeks for missing two sprigs of crabgrass when she weeded the lawn.

When Sue was 11, she was told to take two cases of soft drinks down the basement stairs. She could barely manage to pick them up, but she did. Halfway down, she tripped and fell head over heels to the concrete floor. She was lying in the midst of broken glass when her father jerked her up and, without inquiring about her well-being said, "You dummy, I told you not to drop them!"

Not surprisingly, Sue had an impoverished self-image. At times, during her marriage, her insecurity surfaced in the form of emotional withdrawal. Rich was often caught off guard, but he encouraged her to tell him about her experiences. He rarely said, "You shouldn't feel that way."
He remained committed to helping her resolve, and not repress, her feelings about her parents. As a result, Sue now feels loved and valued by God and Rich. She is learning to forget what lies behind, to reach what is ahead.

Prayer:
That you and your mate will have intimacy to share both positive and negative aspects of the "baggage" from childhood.

Discuss: How familiar are you with your mate's relationship with his or her parents? If you haven't ever done so, take an evening and have your mate share his most memorable times with his parents.