My Portion and my Lot

"O Lord, Your are the portion of my inheritance and my cup.
You maintain my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in the pleasant places.
Yes, I have a good inheritance".

I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;
My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.
I have set the Lord always before me;
Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will rest in hope." Psalm 16:5-8

Yesterday Tony called me up to his room and said, "Hey mom---I've been thinking---I don't want to move to California. I want to stay up here and go to college up here."

And I must confess-----all I thought when he said that was, "No! I've been looking forward to a new life of freedom---a life of not daily worrying about him---a life of being able to go do what I want and not needing to consider him in everything I do."

Now don't get me wrong---I love Tony and I"m glad he will be close---but I'm disappointed that what I was looking forward to isn't going to be quite the same. And that makes it hard to be happy for him. I feel so conflicted inside!

So I don't really know how to proceed---I have too many thoughts swirling in my head----and they are noisy!

So----this morning while I was in the Word, I was asking God to open my eyes and my heart in this. I read the above scripture and it spoke clearly to me. This is where God has me, and I will seek Him. Period.